In My Dreams by ninkita
by Carlisle Uncovered Contest
Summary: Bella Swan was just another bored realtor with anxiety issues and a vampire bestie, until the day she met Dr. Carlisle Cullen.


**Title: In My Dreams**

 **Summary: Bella Swan was just another bored realtor with anxiety issues and a vampire bestie, until the day she met Dr. Carlisle Cullen.**

 **Pairing: CarlislexBella**

 **Rating: T**

 **Word count: (not including summary or title): 4651**

* * *

…

Alice Brandon once asked me if I believed in life after death. I thought it was one of her stupid jokes, seeing as she's sort-of dead. Or sort-of alive, if you want to see it that way.

I don't remember what I said, but I do remember her infuriating smile, and her reply. "Bella, there's more to you than you know. You've been more people, and visited more places, and experienced more lives than you can comprehend. One day, you'll understand what I mean."

I didn't think too much about it, because that's how Alice talked half the time… cryptic and vague and a little annoying. Still, she was one of my best friends and quite an accurate fortune teller most of the time. It was because of her insistence that I'd taken up my current job.

"Bella! There's my favorite girl. I've been looking for you."

I cringed at Michael Newton's overly cheerful voice. I sidestepped him before he could bring his sweaty palms to rest on my shoulders. He seemed to think it was avuncular. I thought it was creepy.

Seeing as he was my boss, I couldn't really protest too loudly. My friend and colleague Angela and I had learnt early on to avoid him as far as possible. Today he had caught me. Not for the first time, I wished I had asked Alice to flick him away to the furthest corner of the globe like the bug that he was. Unfortunately, letting Alice use her supernatural powers on someone as insignificant as Mike had seemed needless at the time.

"Hi, Mike. I was just on my way out to the Rowley place. Remember, you assigned it to me last week? I have a couple of people I'm supposed to meet about it today. Why don't we catch up when I get back in a couple of hours?"

My luck really was out. Michael Newton, owner of the small but successful realty firm where I'd worked for the last five years, shook his head with a slimy smile.

"Now, now, Bella. You are one of our best realtors, and I know you must be itching to take on something a bit more challenging. That's why I'm giving you the Cliff House. Don't worry, I already told Jess to take over the Rowley place."

I was speechless. First of all, _Jessica_ got the easy sale that I already worked on? And I got… That old house had been on the books for years. People went to see the place, but no one put in an offer. Over the years, all kinds of rumors had spread about it. Ghosts, evil spirits and unexplained paranormal activity? Those were the tamer stories I'd heard.

The point was, this house wasn't going to sell. It was a dead property that no realtor wanted weighing down on their portfolio. And it just got handed to me on a plate. I wanted to kill that conniving bitch of a Jessica. Maybe asking Alice to drain these two blots on the earth wouldn't be such a bad thing.

"Here's the file." Mike looked so smug, I wanted to punch his face. "And one last thing, there's a client who wants to see the place today. In… oh, about two hours from now. Go on, do your thing."

With one last evil smirk, he walked off into his huge cabin. I didn't swear often, but the fucking visible fart was asking for it.

…

I let out a breath and shut my eyes. Anxiety at having to meet a client unprepared dragged at my composure, so I focused on my breathing. For a moment, I let my mind go completely blank.

When I opened my eyes, I was calm, cool, in control. Turning away from the open window overlooking the gorgeous vista of the ocean, I walked confidently across the room and onto the landing.

It really was a gorgeous old house. By rights, it should have been snapped up the moment it came on the market, yet here we were, five years since I started working for Newton Realtors, still trying to convince prospective homeowners to open their eyes to the potential it held.

Originally built somewhere in the 1850s, it had been extensive renovated in the 1880s, 1920s, and 1950s. Its plumbing had been overhauled in the mid-1990s. Despite having been uninhabited for over a decade at this point, there was no doubt that it could give newer constructions a run for their money. There was no trace of structural damage, and the mysterious owners had taken care of the odd missing roofing tiles and the few damp patches that had turned up from time to time.

The slam of a car door startled me out of my musings. I realized it must be the man I was supposed to show the house to. A Mr... damn, I didn't even know who I was supposed to meet! I consulted my notes... and frowned. There wasn't much information about him, not even his full name. All Mike had tossed at me before I left was that it was a man, a doctor. I focused on my annoyance, trying to ward off the nerves that were creeping in. He must be middle-aged. Married to the job, probably, seeing as he was out looking at houses alone. Hardly the type I would expect to invest in a huge family home like this. It was going to be a waste of time, just as I had suspected.

I quickly made my way down the regally curving staircase, and reached out for the door just as it swung open to reveal the most gorgeous man I had ever seen.

My head spun as I looked into his unusual, piercing caramel eyes. Alice's eyes, I realized. My vision telescoped and all I could hear was the deafening rush of blood as my heart stuttered. For a moment, I grasped at my rapidly receding consciousness . . .

"Carlisle!" I gasped, and then everything went blank as I fell into a dead faint.

…

 _I am in the middle of strange countryside, rolling hills covered with heather, the long grasses bending and swaying in the strong breeze. Low clouds roll by, over the moors, and I gather the heavy cloak of fine wool closer around my shoulders. Even in the dull twilight, the sapphire embedded in my heavy signet ring glints. I am waiting for someone._

 _I hear the rustle and crunch of approaching footsteps, and turn to see a pair of brilliant, smiling blue eyes. Sapphire blue. He holds out a hand with a grin, and my heart leaps._

…

I blinked awake, trying to hold onto the fading wisps of my strange vision. That did not, however, mask my acute embarrassment.

The man at the door must have lightning fast reflexes, because he had caught me as I fell. I knew this because when I opened my eyes, his face was hovering over mine, and his arms were wrapped around me securely.

His body was still cool from the chill wind that was blowing outdoors, and the contact made me shiver. The concern in his eyes was enough to warm me up from the inside, though.

"Are you alright, miss?" His voice was smooth, but with deep, sexy undertones.

I nodded, and he helped me stand. I wanted to whine and pout when he removed his arms from around me. He smelled better than anyone or anything I had ever encountered in my life.

I stepped back and took in his features. Pale blond hair, neatly combed, but with a rebellious quiff right in front that refused to stay down. Bright, intelligent eyes the color of caramel, or amber, or something similarly exotic and unusual, under a defined brow. He was quite the most handsome man I'd ever seen, with an angular jaw and curved lips. Tall, taller than me by at least a foot, and dressed with casual grace. Who was this man? Why did he seem so familiar?

I must have been gawking for longer than appropriate, because his pleasant smile slipped and concern shone in his eyes.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright? Why don't you sit down for a minute? Have you had anything to eat today? Your sugar levels might have fallen."

I brushed aside his concern. "I'm fine, thank you for catching me. This is embarrassing, but… I'm not sure what came over me."

"I'm glad I was here. Have we met before?" he asked with the tiniest wrinkle on his brow. "You called out to me by name when you fainted. You seemed to recognize me?"

I blinked and frowned. I had no recollection of having done that. Besides, it was impossible, because I had never seen the man before. This level of sexy wasn't something a girl could easily forget.

"No… I'm sure you're mistaken. Maybe I gurgled or something?" I tried not to babble like an idiot, but there was something about him that put me on edge, and his baffled silence wasn't helping.

Thankfully, he let it go, smiling and holding out a pale, rather shapely hand, with long fingers and neatly trimmed nails.

"My name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen, and it's a pleasure to meet you, Miss…"

"Bella Swan," I replied with a smile, trying hard to force down my nervous giggles. What was I, ten?

…

The showing had gone better than I had hoped, especially given the rather unfortunate start we had. Dr. Cullen was a true gentleman, and I was harboring a healthy crush on him. Not only had he saved me from falling and injuring myself, but he was also extremely knowledgeable… especially about the house.

I frowned as I changed for bed later that day. Agreed, I had only been assigned the house that morning, but I considered myself well versed with its major features. I had made it a point to look up the old house, as a matter of fact, soon after I had joined Newton's. It fascinated me, with its history as much as its beauty.

Dr. Cullen, however, seemed to possess a more intimate knowledge of the place. As though he wasn't visiting a new space at all, but revisiting familiar ground.

Kind of how I felt every time I looked at the good doctor, to be honest. Had I really called out his name when I fainted? How bizarre.

I picked up my phone to text Alice, but then tossed it back down on the bed. She'd see something was up soon enough, I was sure. Bella Swan falling for a sexy vampire? Oh, Alice was going to have a field day with this.

I wondered if he felt the same pull that I did.

…

 _Sunrise over the moors is magical. A dense fog had clouded the horizon since late evening, but with dawn the heavens were becoming increasingly visible, the stars vanishing fast before the sun's rapid ascent._

 _Where is he?_

 _The wind carries the sounds of rushing footsteps, and a muttered imprecation that would surely have made his father box his ears. It makes me laugh, and that is how he finds me, sprawled in the midst of the soft heath, leaning back on my elbows, smirking up at my best friend._

 _The last fingers of mist dissipate as he appears, and the sun behind him makes his flaxen hair glow, as though a halo. He is glorious, and I can scarce contain my emotions. Thankfully, neither can he._

 _With a playful growl, he jumps at me, and for a while we are boys again, trying to gain the upper hand as we wrestle on the moors. Then I have him pinned down, his blue eyes shining up at me with so much mirth and love… it is too much, and I must have him. Our lips meet with a desperation and rough need, his hands gripping the back of my neck, holding me to him, even as I bear down to let him feel my desire._

 _He pulls away at length, and gasps, "Tonight. Please, say you will be there."_

 _It hits me that I will be forced away to the city for a month tomorrow. A month without my love!_

 _"I promise I will be there," I vow. "I love you, Carlisle."_

 _"Edward," he breathes, pulling me back into his embrace._

…

I jolted awake, completely confused.

I could clearly recall the details of the homoerotic dream I just had about my hot vampire crush and a guy called Edward. Still, strange dream aside, at least I had slept for… I peeked at the display on my phone… a whopping 4 hours. Better than last night, and every night before that, for as long as I could remember. If I was lucky, I'd drop back to sleep and get to watch some more hot guy-on-guy action. At least, Carlisle was hot. I wasn't sure about this Edward person, because the perspective of the dream was… as though I _was_ Edward.

Shaking off the decidedly strange idea, I tossed off my tangled sheets and got out of bed. A warm drink might help. Angela swore by the stuff, so every night I tried some, in case it finally decided to work. It hadn't made a jot of difference to my insomnia so far, but I had discovered a strange love for a hot cup of milk at midnight. Or 3 am, as the case may be.

A little later I lay in bed, ignoring the impulse to toss and turn, knowing it was pointless. My body ached with fatigue, but my mind wouldn't slow down long enough for me to even fall into a light doze. Instead, I found myself thinking about the handsome doctor.

What was a vampire doing posing as a human doctor anyway? I knew from the color of his eyes that he drank from animals, same as Alice. But how would that affect me, really? For a moment I wished Alice was here with me, instead of living it up in Alaska with some hot southern vampire she'd met a few months ago.

Well, back to my hot vampire. I wanted him, for sure. I wasn't exactly unattractive. I'd always got enough appreciative glances and invites to dates, so I knew physically I didn't repel men. No, there was something inside that was the problem. Something within me that compelled me to latch onto assholes like Jake, and then keep taking the emotional punishment that entailed. Maybe Alice was right. Maybe I needed to go talk to a professional. I mean, one of my best friends was a vampire. Wasn't that just proof that I was nuts?

Once again, my thoughts gravitated to Dr Cullen. I knew looks could be deceptive, but there was something about him… something that made me want to trust him. I had looked him up as soon as I had come home that evening, and what I found made him sound even more attractive than before. A psychiatrist, he had only recently moved to the area. He had excellent credentials, and was involved in several charities. It was almost as though he was a mythical creature, because it was almost incomprehensible that anyone could be that perfect. Oh wait, he _was_ a mythical creature.

I wondered if hot vampire doctors went on dates.

With a sigh, I stared up at the ceiling and forced my mind to go blank. Maybe if I tried to count sheep…

I gave up when the prancing sheep in my mind started resembling Carlisle. He really had the nicest eyes. Even Alice's eyes weren't quite such an alluring shade of amber… or was it caramel? I needed to look up a color chart.

The sky had lightened to a shadowy grey when I finally fell into a disturbed sleep.

…

Two weeks could make a lot of difference to a person's life. In my case, in two weeks, I had nearly snapped Newton's head off, taken a much needed unplanned vacation to visit Alice in Alaska, and under her damnable influence, booked myself an appointment with a shrink.

And not just any shrink, either.

"You can go through now," the pretty, well-groomed human receptionist said pleasantly.

My smile was shaky, but my steps didn't falter as I walked down the passage, stopping outside the second door from the end.

Alice had insisted that I keep this appointment, I reminded myself. That had to count for something.

I was still trying to gather myself when the door opened, and I once again beheld the man who had become a regular part of my dreams over the past two weeks.

"Dr. Cullen," I rasped, then cleared my throat.

He smiled, and something deep inside my messed up mind calmed. "Ms. Swan, please come in."

He was just as I remembered: polite, handsome, a complete gentleman, as he led me to a comfortable chair at his desk. Instead of rounding the table as I expected him to, he pulled up the chair next to mine and sat down, facing me.

"How have you been?" he asked, as though we were friends meeting for coffee, as if we were anywhere but at a vampire/shrink's office, about to discuss how to make all the broken and confused parts of me work. He really did seem to be into me.

"I'm alright now. I didn't think I'd manage to get an appointment so soon."

"Well, I recognized your name, and had an opening, so…" he shrugged, with a charming smile. Oh yes, he was definitely interested. "Your friend Angela has been very helpful with the house, but I admit I was rather worried when I learnt you had been unwell."

I blushed. "I ah… I took time off. I have been having a little trouble… I can't really sleep much. And I was starting to get really anxious about things. And I nearly slapped my boss. That's not normal, right?"

I could swear his eyes twinkled when he looked at me. "Wanting to slap your boss? That's alarmingly common, actually. For the rest, why don't you tell me more, and we'll see if we can get to the bottom of it."

He had a gift, I realized, for making people comfortable. Most days, I had to work really hard to act as if I wasn't itching to burst out of my own skin, but he had just put me at ease without even trying. Haltingly at first, I began to talk. Within minutes, my words were tripping over my tongue, as I shared all the things about my life that caged me in, that made me feel as though I couldn't breathe.

I spoke to him about issues that I had never mentioned to another living person—because Alice clearly didn't count—my inability to connect with my family, my strange insecurity and fear of being abandoned, my inability to forge deep connections with friends, the dead-end relationships that I seemed to choose, knowing that they would go nowhere.

He was attentive, and not once did he interrupt. Before I knew it, an hour had passed, and the receptionist was tapping on the door.

"Dr. Cullen?" she called out softly, "I'm leaving for the day."

He looked as surprised as I was at the passage of time.

"Thanks Esme, I'll lock up. Have a nice weekend."

I bent to grab my bag, flustered at having taken more of his time than I was entitled to.

"I'm so sorry, Dr Cullen, I got carried away, I guess. I'll call your office for a follow-up, shall I?"

He stopped me with a gentle hand on my arm. "Ms Swan, let's take another ten minutes, shall we?"

His touch did strange things to me. I couldn't help but gravitate towards him, and I could have sworn he bent closer as well. Before I could act on my crazy impulse to taste those sculpted lips of his, however, he blinked and leaned back in his chair.

"Well, Miss Swan," he began, his voice smooth, unconcerned, though his eyes looked much like I felt. Stunned, confused. Maybe a bit horny.

"Bella," I cut in. "Please call me Bella."

He inclined his head, a smile lurking in his eyes. "Bella, I would like it if we could talk some more about the possible causes of the problems you spoke about. Can you meet me at the same time next week?"

I nodded and rose to leave.

"Bella?" he called when I turned to the door. Damn, I loved it when he said my name like that, all low, and rumbly, and sexy. He walked closer and gently placed a hand at the small of my back, holding the door open for me. I wanted to swoon at how much of a gentleman he was. "Please call me Carlisle."

He met my startled gaze with a grin. "Here's my number. Call me anytime you need to, ok?"

I could only nod, accepting the card he pressed into my hand before scuttling down the passage, his gaze raising a warm blush on my skin. Oh, how I would miss this sensation during the week!

Suddenly, the thought of not seeing him for a week was too much to bear.

I stopped and turned back. He was still standing at the door, watching me. Something inside me snapped, and I dropped my purse, running back, straight into his waiting arms.

Our lips met, and finally the world made sense. My restless hands stroked up and down his rock hard chest, his strong shoulders, and up through his coiffed hair.

I pulled away, taking in his darkened eyes, desire etched bone-deep on his perfect face.

Even in the throes of our unexpected passion, I could see his logical, analytical mind whirring, trying to comprehend the shift that had just taken place between us. On my part, there was no doubt in my mind that something fundamental had changed… within me, and between us.

"Carlisle," I gasped. "Don't leave me. Don't ever leave me again."

"Bella, what's the matter?" he soothed me, but I was too agitated to listen.

"No matter what, this time you can't leave me, do you understand? Vampire or human, life or death, I need you with me, Carlisle."

His eyes widened. "Vampire or… what do you…"

"Am I your mate?" I countered.

"How could you know? How could you guess?" he asked, his fingers moving gently along the skin of my neck.

"It wasn't difficult, really," I confess. "One of my best friends is a vampire, so… I knew the moment I met you that you couldn't possibly be human."

He blinked in disbelief. "You have a friend who's a vampire?"

I nodded. "Alice. She sees things, sometimes. She's the one who insisted I come meet you today."

"A seer?" He sounded more intrigued than anything else, which I took as a positive sign.

I looked back, sighting my purse on the floor neat the outer door, where I had dropped it. Before I could think of walking back for it, he had fetched it for me. He even looked appealing as a blur.

"Thanks," I smiled, pecking his lips and enjoying the look of delight that brought onto his face. Settling back into the chairs we had occupied just a short while before, I dug into my bag. "Umm, Alice said I should share this with you."

He held his hand out expectantly for the slim diary I held tight to my chest. Despite Alice's assurances, I wasn't sure I wanted him to find out the kind of dreams I had been having about him.

But he deserved to know… and so, after another moment of indecision, I loosened my death grip on the notebook, and held it out to him.

"I've been having visions, dreams," I said. "Since the day I met you, a couple of weeks back. I'm sorry about the scratchy writing; I was usually still half asleep when I'd pen down everything I could remember about them."

"Are they… unpleasant?" he asked, gesturing to the diary.

I shook my head. "Read them."

He looked a little unsure, but I could see his natural curiosity gaining ground.

I couldn't hold back my grin. That was the Carlisle I knew and loved.

Holy shit, I already loved him. Alice was going to freak.

" _We're at the old lake and he insists on swimming despite the chill in the air. He grabs my hand and pulls me closer, and in that moment I know I will do what he says. I've known him my whole life, but this is the first time I feel like I am actually seeing who he really is,"_ he read. Even my dreams sounded better in his voice. " _He is beautiful. I don't need to name this emotion. I have lived with it for years. This is the first time I dare to hope that he might feel it too. The idea thrills me and scares me equally_."

He flipped a page.

" _It's a hazy day on the moors. I'm troubled, for my father wants me to marry. I can't say yes, but I don't know how to say no. And what about my love? What will he say?_ "

I tried to calm my breathing, but it was difficult, for I knew that the dreams got progressively more emotional with every page.

" _I call him to meet me near the lake, in the cavern only we frequent. I know he is to accompany his father on a journey of some days to his uncle's parish. I know it is a matter of a few weeks, but I hate how much I will miss him. He rushes in, and even in my anger, I am soothed. He embraces me as though he will never let me go. Our kiss is more than our bodies can contain_."

Carlisle stopped reading, and I was struck by his expression. He seemed shaken, his smooth forehead marked by confusion and disbelief.

"How is this possible? How…?"

I leaned over and turned to the last page, the dream I had last night.

" _I am bereft. He is gone, and none can say where. I have tried to find him, but beyond his cloak, tattered and torn, near the lake, I have found not one flaxen hair from his head. I have not eaten for days now, and I know my time is near. He used to laugh at me, saying I was melodramatic, but it is the way it is. There can be no Edward without Carlisle_."

Carlisle went so still he could have been a statue.

"Edward," he whispered, a heartbreaking sadness shrouding his brightness.

"Carlisle," I said, cradling his face in my hands. "Look at me. Look at me, and say you don't know me. These dreams… they are memories aren't they… memories of our time together? Am I crazy for believing this, Carlisle?"

He looked broken, desperate, and absolutely lost. But looking into my eyes, he became gradually less rigid.

"How is this possible?" he murmured, eyes searching, yet hopeful. "How can you know all this? It can't be. I lost him when I was turned. When I managed to return home, he had died. I saw his grave."

"I don't know about this Edward, but I am me, for sure. In my dreams, I have felt his love for you, and I know that is how I feel for you as well. Isn't that enough for now?"

When he carefully drew me into his arms and finally kissed my lips, I felt an upsurge of emotion like nothing I'd ever experienced before. In that moment, I recognized exactly what I had been searching for all my life. It was him.

Alice was going to be so smug.


End file.
